Diversified Writer
2 min readJun 1, 2023

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Dave & Vinny: The Dog Sh*t Shuffle

On his almost nightly trip to the Rampant Horse Vinny often got lost in thought. Tonight they were deep thoughts which led to him very nearly stepping in a huge pile of dogshit. However, Vinny being Vinny did a little shuffle, a hop, a twist and somehow managed to avoid it.
An old fella with a newspaper shook his head at Vinny's antics. Vinny gave him a wink and continued on his way.

Dave did the customary wave of get me a pint in as he saw Vinny enter the pub.
Minutes later Vinny sat down heavily, sliding a beer over to his friend.
"Thank you Vinster. I'd have got you one in but...."
"Don't bother Dave. I've heard every excuse."
"You seem a tad glum old bean."
"Just a bit fed up of hearing about Schofield being sacked."
"Oh? Were you a fan?"
"No strong opinions on the man either way."
"Then what's your take on the whole thing?"
Vinny shrugged.
"I'll offer no opinion just to say that if people spent more time sorting their own lives and morals than worrying about people on TV they'll never meet the world would be a better place."
Vinny took a long pull from his pint.
"You're right mate. It's TV for idiots anyway."
"Dave, if they ask I'd be happy to sit next to Holly Willoughby every day."
"Vin you'd be sacked within the week."
"You're right mate. It would be embarrassing. She wouldn't be able to keep her hands off me."
Dave laughed.
"It's Gordon the Gopher I feel sorry for the press will be hounding him too."

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Diversified Writer

Darren is a short story and novella writer. He likes tall tales that have humour and heart. He’ll occasionally bring you poetry, finance and health blog posts.