Dave & Vinny: Carol Vordeman

Longcroft Estate, Rampant Horse Pub.

It was a Friday evening and everyone was that little bit more relaxed. Work week troubles were melting away. In the Rampant Horse the fire was roaring and spirits were high. Except for Ken the barman. He was always a miserable bastard. Over at their table Dave and Vinny were chewing the fat and also eating pork scratchings. Scrapps, Old Pete’s dog was looking over at them in the vain hope of some porky goodness. Not a chance. Dream on Scrapps!

“I tell you what Dave that Carol Vordeman is an impressive woman.”
“I don’t think there’s a man in the country that would disagree and of course you are talking about her fine intellect and nothing else.”
Vinny sipped his pint.
Dave joined him but sipped his own pint rather than Vinny’s.
Each took a pork scratching from the open bag on the table in front of him and before eating they performed the ritual of seeing who had gotten the bigger one before munching. Dave was the smug winner of this round.
“Well Dave I’m not going to lie to you I find her very attractive in all areas.”
“Let’s leave it at that shall we? I do notice that she seems to be having a very well informed crusade against the Tories at the moment and is seeking for a little less corruption and more fairness.”
“As I said my friend, she’s an angel.”