Dave & Vinny: Aliens

Tales from the Rampant Horse

The Rampant Horse was its usual chaotic self. Ken, the perpetually scowling barman, leaned on the counter as Sandra bustled past nearly knocking him over as her oversized bosom led the way.

Scraps, Vinny’s wiry mongrel, sat by the dartboard licking crumbs off the sticky carpet, occasionally looking up in case any more fell from heaven.

Dave slid into his usual stool next to Vinny, whose pint was already half-empty.

“Seen it again last night,” Vinny said, tapping his temple like he was the oracle of truth.

“Seen what?” Dave asked, sceptical.

“Flashing lights! Up there, just past the estate. UFOs. Aliens. You can’t keep ignoring it, Dave.”

Dave chuckled, sipping his lager. “Aliens? Round here? What would they want with Longcroft? If they’re looking for intelligent life round here they’re out of luck.”

Scraps barked his objection to that comment.

“Laugh all you like,” Vinny shot back. “But I saw three of them, hovering. Bright as anything. Sandra!” He waved at her. “Tell him about the lights you saw on your way home last month.”

Sandra approached, balancing a tray with ease. “I didn’t see any lights. That were Lee, wasn’t it?” She nodded at Lecherous Lee, perched in his usual dark corner, swirling his pint. “He’s always seeing something weird in alleys.”

“Oi, Lee!” Dave called out, turning towards him. “You had another ‘incident’ then?”

Lee leaned…