Dave and Vinny: Antiques

The Rampant Horse was never what you’d call a posh pub. It was more “shabby.” without the chic. Located right in the middle of Longcroft Estate, it had a reputation for pulling in the kind of crowd that you’d avoid on a dark night unless you fancied a life lesson in Yorkshire grit. Which, of course, was why Dave and Vinny loved it.

Ken the barman, sour-faced and ancient as the furniture, was polishing a glass and muttering darkly about the state of things as Dave and Vinny stumbled in, Vinny proudly carrying his new “antique” — a staff with a rather hideous-looking ram’s skull crudely screwed to the top. He proudly held it aloft as he swaggered into the pub like Gandalf holding the Balrog at bay.
“None shall pass,” he roared as he stood in the doorway.

Dave, for his part, looked less than thrilled with his prize from the antique shop — a raggedy doll with a cracked porcelain face and eyes that seemed to follow you around the room, even when you weren’t looking. It hadn’t been his choice, and he kept glancing at it like it might bite him. Or curse him.

Ken’s face crinkled in confusion as they came through the door. “What the bloody ‘ell you pair been up to now? And get out of that doorway Vinny, you’ll scare off my punters.”